so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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