dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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