I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
