I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
