is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
