Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
