so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
