butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
