this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Use "feeling words"
Yay
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
