All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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