some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
