So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
