pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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