It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
