He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
