i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
