He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
