YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You made out with two different species that night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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