man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
