you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
