worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
