When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
