There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize