I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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