His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize