Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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