So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My balls are so social today.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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