I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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