Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
