I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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