never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
