So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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