Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
