when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
