Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
