This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
