god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
