Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
