GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Two words: blizzard sex
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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