Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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