drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
