my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
