so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
