Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Panties = found
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
