don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
