Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize