we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
