She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
