it's like heaven, but drunker
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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