He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
