He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Randomize
