as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize