A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
