so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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