Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The best revenge is premature balding
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
