Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
