My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
