what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
